HDPE Piping and the Twelve Days of Christmas

So, I was challenged to write a blog that equated the legendary gifts that are included in the Christmas carol “The Twelve Days of Christmas” to ISCO and the world of high-density polyethylene (HDPE) piping solutions.

I said no.

They said too bad.

Shout out to Frederic Austin who produced the traditional folk melody we all know and….well – we know it.

I thought just re-writing the song with 12 HDPE-related gift items would suffice, but I’ve never shied away from a challenge.

Rather than subject you to the repetitive Hades that is the actual song (it’s no “American Pie”, but it is over four minutes long – wait I dated myself – how about I connect to a newer generation with: it’s no “All Too Well”).

So here goes nothing.

We begin with:

Twelve Drummers Drumming.

Now HDPE drums are very common in the storage or transport of hazardous and non-hazardous liquids and powders, but I’m not here for the easy out.

A Tubulum is a musical instrument that is constructed with different lengths of pipe that are tuned into an eight or 13-note octave and can be played by hitting the open top of the end of the pipe. You may have seen one on Blue Man Group or in front of a kitschy restaurant like Lynn’s Paradise Cafe in Louisville (R.I.P.).

They are typically made with another pipe that we refuse to mention in this blog, but I defy you to prove that HDPE can’t give you the same, more durable instrument and melodious thump. I call it a tHubulum.

If that isn’t sufficient, the ISCO HQ in Louisville houses two drummers in local bands: Rick Kraus and Will Vodak.

Twelve. Check.

Eleven Pipers Piping.

This one is the low-hanging fruit and the reason that when the idea was presented to me, I thought: “Yeah – this might work.”

Piping. HDPE piping. Miles and miles of leak-free, environmentally-safe piping.

Just let me have this one.

Please.

Eleven. Check, please.

Ten lords a leaping.

So, there is a Christmas decoration called a “leaping light arch”.

It’s made of HDPE pipe. Boom.

And just to honor our Spinal Tap fans we reinforce 11 by pointing out that some of the original versions of this song had many variations of the gifts including “ten ships a sailing.”

ISCO sells closed-end HPDE pontoons used to build docks, due to the floating nature of HDPE.

Christopher Cross would be so proud.

Ten. Double check.

Nine ladies dancing.

I’m afraid my co-worker in the cubicle in front of me doing pliés and pas de bourrées at her standing desk is too much of a stretch.

An alternate version of the lyrics had the ladies “spinning” as opposed to dancing.

The early success of HDPE can be traced back to spinning.

In particular the “hula hoop”.

Two research chemists at the Phillips Petroleum Company, J. Paul Hogan and Robert Banks invented a precursor to HDPE in 1951 called Marlex.

When Wham-o’s hula hoop became a fad in the 50s – Marlex was flying off the shelves.

Nine. Wham-O!!

Eight maids a milking.

So, milk jugs at the grocery store are made of HDPE, but this is about piping. No easy outs.

For those who are wired into the industry, there is an abundance of unique end markets and applications for HDPE piping.

In South Dakota, ISCO is working with multiple entities that will send waste from dairy farms to a digesting facility. The resulting biogas will then be piped to a gas upgrading facility and that natural gas will be distributed into the local system.

The efforts will reduce greenhouse gas emissions, supply a clean renewable fuel and place them on the cutting edge of renewable energy solutions.

Maids a milking indeed.

Eight. Great! Moooo.

Seven swans a swimming.

In 2010 ISCO was instrumental in an irrigation project at the National Elk Refuge in Jackson, Wyoming at the foot of the Teton Mountains. The project aimed to save water, expand natural vegetation growth to improve the ecosystem and increase winter forage for the elk, bison and other herbivorous mammals.

Both the Trumpeter Swan(common) and the Tundra Swan(occasional) are residents of the refuge.

And if you will allow it – four species of geese, including the Snow and the Canada (it’s named after the species name, not the country – look it up) make the National Elk Refuge home. It is well worth a winter visit there, or even a holiday-appropriate sleigh ride if you have never been.

Seven. BLEAT!!

And six. HONK!!

Five gold rings.

(you just sang this one out loud or in your head – admit it.)

This is the only other lay-up on this shot sheet, joining the pipers.

When rehabilitating failing culverts with Snap-Tite, a gasket is used to reinforce the bell and spigot connection. Some are gold. Rather large circular gaskets.

Gold rings.

Five. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding!!

Four calling birds.

We have already mentioned a variance in the original lyrics, and there are numerous theories behind “calling” birds. It is said that in Somerset it was actually “colly” birds, a word that meant black. So – blackbirds.

While I have first-hand knowledge of the abundance of numerous warblers, wrens and other “calling” birds as well as ravens, crows and varieties of other blackbirds on the Elk Refuge, we already used that for two verses, so lumping any more birds in this I have officially ruled out-of-bounds.

Now most HDPE is black because carbon is added to give the pipe UV-resistant qualities, but I’m not going there for the win.

So – buckle up as we attempt to bring in another age demographic.

Between 2002 and 2005, Nickelodeon produced numerous holiday shorts, including “The 12 Days of Nickmas” which incorporated a number of Nicktoon characters in the old Rankin and Bass animation style.

Day four was Otto from Rocket Power singing “four dudes a shredding”. You may think this is a half-cocked attempt at a half-pipe reference, but no – it is a half-cocked reference to the facing process in the butt-fusion of two pieces of HDPE pipe together.

Literally filing shreds of pipe off of the level ends of the two pieces you are welding together so there is virgin HDPE for the fusion process.

Four. Woogity, woogity, woogity, woogity.

Three French hens.

So close, yet so far.

I really hoped that my childhood fandom of SCTV’s Doug and Bob McKenzie could help me out here, but “three French toasts” doesn’t push me any closer to the narrative I am looking for. Although I do love French toast.

But I can say this.

ISCO is proud to have six locations in Canada, serving our friends to the north, including our yard in beautiful Saint-Jérôme, Quebec – just northwest of Montreal. Approximately 94% of the population of Saint-Jérôme speaks French.

As for the hens – if you’ve read this far and are just now picking nits – we need to talk.

Three. Oui.

Two turtle doves.

My first thought is that the McElroy Talon fusion machine, with its patented green paint job and deliberate terrestrial movements could evoke images of a turtle and satisfy this verse, but I think I can do better. Just a little bit, but better.

ISCO’s culvert rehabilitation we mentioned in verse five offers a rehab solution that specifically addresses Aquatic Life Passage within the culvert. This is mainly for the movement of fish, but hold on – believe it or not – some studies meticulously document the use of culverts by turtles as safe passage, free of vehicular demise.

And imagine how much nicer the commute would be for the armored reptile if the inside walls of the culvert were smooth HDPE instead of rusted out and jagged corrugated metal, and had baffles that created pools to stop and enjoy a soak midway through the traverse. After all, slow and steady wins the race.

Sorry about the doves. WAY too many birds in this song.

Two. (whatever sound a turtle makes – my See-and-Say didn’t go there)!

That brings us to:

The partridge in a pear tree.

Variations point to a peacock in some versions and a juniper tree in others.

For the record, partridges nest on the ground and do not frequent pear trees. And the pear tree appears to be a mistaken translation of the French for a partridge, creating an odd and embarrassing redundancy.

But I can see the tape, and come hell or high water I am crossing this finish line.

In February of 2014 Baker Farming in Firebaugh, California was losing trees to drought at a rapid pace. ISCO brought in the aforementioned Talon for its international debut, fusing 13,000 feet of 54″ HDPE pipe to replace a failing steel irrigation system.

The fertile San Joaquin Valley is home to countless crops that we consume daily without a second thought of where it came from or the process that brought it to our table and bellies.

And while Baker Farming specializes in almonds, grapes and pomegranates, other farms in the region are battling drought and water security that have, yes, you guessed it – pear trees.

Maybe a rogue Chukar found its way up to one of the branches.

Let’s pretend that happened, shall we?

One. Ka-kaw.

I hope you learned something or got a chuckle.

From all of us here at ISCO, here’s to a safe and happy holiday season to all of you.